Friday, June 27, 2008
I'm...18 years and 13 days old and in a few years time i'm stepping into another big phase of my life!
This sudden epiphany is rather disconcerting
But also exciting and scary!
One day i'll be an adult and i'll need to take care of people instead of being taken care of
I'll need to file income tax buy insurance build a home build a family sign consent forms worry about my children crack my head over the best possible way to entice them to eat vegetables maintain a marriage lead my own life earn money deal with adult politics vote catch up with friends and alumni be involved in church and service provide for my parents give my children the feeling that i know a lot so that they will listen to me and talk to me
whew! And the thing is i know that list is not finished.
Sometimes i think about the future and i remember that we don't have to fear the unknown when we know God who knows everything!
J
I wish i knew though. Then i can do whatever it takes now to ensure i don't drift off from people i care about and ensure that my life can bless the people around me but i guess i shouldn't fear mistakes and embarrassment so much
I'm trying! I demo-ed the chicken dance with panache to a bunch of 60-odd people!
I hope i always have innocent friends though. Which is in a sense rather naive already.
I hope i'll become a stronger happier more mature person!and everyone else will be happy too though modern life is casting shadows over the institution of love and marriage. I think deep down we're all worthy of loving and being loved but we all fail to manage our words and actions and desires well enough.
It's okay! I believe purity is still more precious than jewels. So we'll all wait for the ONE, or rather i will wait to see who the first male i will hug is going to be! I mean apart from my brother and father who don't give manly bear hugs.i think they're shy. This reminds me of the time during convention when the adcomm thought we should give the guys a farewell hug since it'll be the last time we'd see them which obviously was not true and then i just watched wide-eyed and erh-ed and took a few steps back while people were embracing.
My mum commended me after that though. If this were the 16th century in old England i bet i'd be the kind of noblelady who won't look men in the eye haha! It's okay prudes are special.
What a big roundabout. I hope the ONE is going to be someone who is funny and mature and can keep himself clean and nice-smelling and does not have ah-beng ish dress sense and cannot be skinnier than me!no matter what the Japanese women think: that skinny guys bring out the motherliness in them or whatever queer reasoning. And can play basketball cos i like to watcheven though i don't understand it and is a mature Christian and can listen cos i like to talk and won't roll his eyes when i say i want to go shopping and i don't like scenic placeswith no shopping cos not exciting.
Tadah this doesn't look like a list i'll look at and laugh about. Which is good. Cos i'm very steadfast as is exemplified by my persistent hold on the same ambition i've had since primary 4!
Let's take a look at my present now. I thinki'm such an average person that i'm so saddened by it. Somepeople around me have such well rounded lives.such achievements! Such defining qualities and talents. I feel like i'm just plodding on. Lately i keep wishing for a big discovery! Of talents i never had. Barring things like hitting birdies on wii golf with one hand in one attempt or whatever!something substantial! That will make people go-candice! She can do __ like no one else can so she is going to be a very promising _. That is a nice thought.maybe i should go try mountain biking or water skiing. BAH. I dont' want the focus to be on academics alone.
The future i envision i will take a long time to materialise though .a full fledged practising psychologist requires 6 years of studying and 2 years of supervised internships before they can acquire certification.
:S
Maybe i should just enjoy my youth now and think about suchthings a little bit only!going to see wanted later hooray!
