Tuesday, April 29, 2008
just finished the finale of they kiss again
):
a void is beginning to open up in the depths of my heart!
no more idealistic romantic dreamy videos to let me hope for and wish for and daydream about and wait for, a love as touching as theirs!
no more exciting tuesdays!
:(
maybe that's good i should concentrate on studying
but i think few (except maybe lim hui qing my friend of 9 years) will understand the emotional significance they kiss again carries！
crying along with them and being happy for xiang qin and laughing at them
what a beautiful chapter and what an abrupt closing.
i really love taiwanese dramas, meteor garden one and it started with a kiss and they kiss again especially! and mars and devil beside you
it's all modern fairytales!
will i ever fall so deeply in love with someone and cry so hard over someone?
hmm.
then again, this is life and hence reality checks are necessary. i have more important issues to occupy my mind now x(
i've only recently realized that i'm indeed loved. not only by my family, because i should feel ashamed about this but i think that's not all to life because what is family for but to love each other(exceptions: the heinously cruel and bastardly austrian father who is really the shame of humankind)i think hitler was from austria too! yes hitler was born in braunau am inn, austria
goodness. is it just an odd coincidence, or does austria produce people who grow up to be the bane of humankind? and the st article mentioned another freak who imprisoned a girl for 8 years, in austria. okay maybe it's just that humans are incomprehensible and wholly unpredictable and there are deep carnal desires in the recesses of our heart that unfortunately get awoken in some people. or that idyllic sweet small towns often are the most misunderstood and dangerous.
everybody! check your neighbour's mental health - the one you thought was mr. nice guy or the little miss girl next door. at least my neighbours, in particular two adolescents who are inexplicably enthusiastic about me reaching home and opening and closing the door when i do, are weird but i know it. it's better that we know people who are weird than live our lives thinking every one is normal and endearing and congratulating ourselves on knowing the right people
which brings me to this morning's reflections on life and quiet time! it's so nice sitting on the parade square looking at the sky and people milling around the parade square. i suddenly thought of the prcs in our school and i put them in my prayer. and i was saying dear God please let them have friends but i don't really want to be their friend. and after i said that i was like $%#* i'm such a hypocrite! ): but...friendship and new people - i find it easier to make new friends now that i'm more grown up but i need to know we have a potential to become sincere good friends instead of just plainly acquaintances. which is also why i turn a blind eye to a lot of people i used to know. like my og. haha that's the evil side of me! but i have nothing to say, i don'tthink they have anything to say either so we might as well just not know each other. but i was thinking about popular people and less well-liked people. and popular people tend to be pretty and have exciting lives packed to the brim and depending on what they fill their lives with - mindless chatter or mindless gossip or making the less well-liked people's lives hell, they could actually be cursed. instead of being as we commonly assume - somewhere near everyone's ideal kind of guy/girl. because then they're in a position to dislike someone, and let's face it - everyone hates someone/has deceitful and demeaning thoughts about someone now and then - but the Bible says this is tantamount to murder! on the other hand less well-liked people - not so blessed in the looks department most of the time, lack of charisma blah blah blah, not very good character wise - but all these perceptions we form of people are judgements that we are not qualified to have because we're not superior to them at all. and less well-liked people are not really positioned to discriminate against others- they won't have the problem of mentally murdering someone? except maybe their oppressors. but it all boils down to human nature and how we're excessively complicated. i'm assuming too much here - but even the people whom we think aren't even fit of being human, God loves them too!
i must continue working at loving people! it's very easy for some - but it's the manipulative hypocritical people whom i tend to judge too easily that i have problems with ):
and back to why i realized i'm loved. credits to a mature and special girl who gave me a mature and special letter in response to my emo post earlier. i applied your advice, priscilla! thanks so much:D i immediately applied the advice to the major blow i received yesterday. sigh.
nobody likes failure and making a fool of themselves, but we can't expect to keep winning.
soundtrack of my life (currently): Love Song by Sara Bareilles! it's somewhat heartrending somewhat optimistic somewhat determined somewhat melodious - just like my tough life now.
cheer up priscilla :D
CANDICE! â¥
4:32 PM
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