Friday, February 08, 2008
hm.
i don't know why i was vexed over sweeney todd's well deserved m18 rating when my long awaited admission into the hallowed cinema hall ONLY required me to walk past the ticket attendant.
and a bit more. 1. my dad paid. 2. walk in smugly like i'm 18.
yes i feel so proud!
and when i sat down in my nice plush seat in the hallowed cinema hall i said THANK YOU GOD!
God works. even for small things.
anyway sweeney is gory, but i love johnny all the same!
I LOVE JOHNNY!
and yay he's going to appear in sin city. though i know the story veers on the side of immorality but ANYWAY. when it comes out i'll definitely be of legal age no matter the rating
i hope.
age became a minor issue this cny.
rachel's growing up soon she'll be working and i'll follow soon
while people like belinda wish they could grow up faster and be as old as her mummy so she doesn't have to study
i know i was like her once but i realised the more i want to grow up the more i will come to know that the world is cruel. and complicated. and as i grow older i become uglier
i don't really want to be rude to my parents but i just blurt things out
i don't really want to be rude to my brother but things just get ugly
i told myself i'll count 5 seconds silently before i respond to anything irksome they might have to say i only practised it once
so now since the CNY is actually another start of the new year i will aim to be docile!
my father asked why i have to use all of my debating skills on them and not my friends.
friends.
sometimes i think i have none, sometimes they suddenly become apparent.
i really don't know
at least i have my wonky juniors i met today before dinner at the airport. who manhandled me and forced me to take a picture i HATE TAKING PICTURES.
and i have my family! imperfect as we may be. they were still nice enough to stick through sweeney todd because i said "the only goal i have now is to watch sweeney todd i've been waiting since last year!" and since i'm such a rude girl i got slightly irked when 1. my mother suddenly jumped and yelped and covered her face when the first unlucky guy (BYEBYE BORAT!) got slashed by johnny who still looked murderously charming. 2. following which my dad said DISGUSTING! when the second slashing came about. 3. following which there was a flurry of activity when my family members covered their faces when the following slashings came around while i was staring ahead trying to see the artistic value in it.
but i realised they really love me alot even if they didn't understand what the story was about in the first place and they don't adore johnny and they definitely didn't like the movie. they loved me enough to give in to me.
so i sat back to watch the slashings.
i always think i'm not very loved but it's things like this - family and doing things for each other that really show love. sometimes my dad does say: candice you're very precious to us and i go: ERRR okay and i don't really feel warm and fuzzy and melted inside but it's nice to archive such stuff.
i'm not as frank and straightforward and genuine as i'd like to be.
i'd like to know you and talk to you and smile at you and all this stuff but my pride and shyness and low self esteem and doubts consume everything else. i'm sorry.
would everything be solved if people would tell those they love that they really love them?
words.
after the highly intriguing science of romance articles in time i wonder who's going to raise my levels of neural oxytocin and dopamine! exciting.
no not very i must focus on As.
and how i must psycho myself to stop eating. i must hammer the part of my brain that deals with motivation and rewards.and i must vaccuum out the black hole that is my stomach. i don't ever seem to be full X.X
this is not good. i wish my parents were born with skinny legs so i'd get skinny legs too
this is stupid considering how i hate shallow thoughts but i'm so superficial myself.
maybe i should embrace my thunder thighs.
but success stories are never complacent
but realistic mature people don't hanker for the unachievable
only pessimistic people think things are unachievable
optimistic people don't always get what they want.
sloths waste their time thinking about thighs.
goodnight.
CANDICE! â¥
11:24 PM
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