Monday, November 12, 2007

and i might just start despising myself soon because i want to appreciate realness and i want all my friends and all women to do so and i want to tell my dieting friends that they don't have to since i don't have any friends that really need to diet. but i can't use the same advice that i give others. how phony.
it's almost compulsive that i get thinner. and i don't understand why it's so hard. i think i can count the amount of fried food servings i've had on both hands this entire year. i run long distances, regularly. i don't eat chips and other related snacks. ditto for most convenience foods and soft drinks.
then, i envy, constantly envy the born skinnies and the born pretties.
but again i know all these stuff.
that the Bible says it's wrong to covet.
and “For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.” 1 Tim 4: 4-5
and i'm fearfully and wonderfully created in His image and that I'm eternally loved.
so i will keep in mind all of the above.
and i feel like buying britney's and the jonas brothers' cd but i hope britney gets her act together again. i've always been pitying her. and i don't know if i should really join project illuminate i don't feel like being with people i know. X.X
