Thursday, November 08, 2007
today was fruitful.
it was the only day this week that i stayed home or stayed home for a prolonged period
i realized i'm innately competitive because i made myself go through my training process when my parents went out to jog.
but that was after i ate soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast and drank coffee courtesy of the new coffee maker - all of which constitute things that i've never experienced this year, except for the toast.
the coffeemaker is from braun but the coffee is something more bombastic - fairtrade coffee from tesco's. i feel like i'm on my way to sophistication and beyond.
coffee grounds actually smell pretty bitter and woody which is highly unpleasant!
after my run, which was not tiring at all probably due to coffee which TCC says may act as a substance to increase stamina, i had lunch while watching In America!
i cried when johnny cried too. it got me thinking about loss and letting go.
loss has so many layers. but it affects our emotions though what we lose is physical - it's not with us anymore, we do not possess it anymore, because we attach emotions to objects and people. which is probably why johnny became numb when he lost frankie because what was attached to frankie - feelings, tears, joy and laughter disappeared along with frankie's death.
then we also lose things that are immaterial. like innocence and friendship and romance and ideals.
but we can try and let go - which is what the movie suggests, though i don't really understand it. maybe in the absence of whatever we lose we fill it with anxiety and worry and anger and numbness and pining and thoughts of whatever we lost and fear. maybe these things cloud our vision till we aren't able to appreciate what we actually have. so maybe this is letting go - which is something happy!
today i realised i attach emotions to lots of stuff, and i can easily detach emotions to lots of stuff as well. which is why i went through a major cleanup session for the book cabinet in my room . so i am proud to say that i achieved my plan for today.
i can't get myself out of writing in short sentences.
this is actually detrimental to my writing! i should disable the enter key when i'm blogging. haha
and i hereby declare that i will support online shops with models that aren't phenomenally skinny but very true. and i love running in an imminent storm because it is very surreal. like racing against time and danger swirling all around you.
CANDICE! â¥
8:25 PM
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