Sunday, September 30, 2007
friday: end of promos!
i was so totally zonked out i didn't care about partying i went home to eat dinner and have my fill of romantic princess ep 1 and 2.
saturday:
CG LEADER SUB STRIKES BACK!
yay i led for the second time and this time i tried to emphasise that everyone has a mind of their own so they should volunteer to SPEAK UP!
don't know if it worked
i've been feeling so out of sorts and like my thoughts are running all over the place so i think i ended up running the session like a comedy.
in which, the person rolling out the laughs would be me.
but anyway.
James 1:22 Be doers of the Word, and not hearers only.
i think we're all pretty much stuck in the hearing stage. or the absorbing/sponge stage.
ESPECIALLY ME! I WANT TO KNOW AND GO FORTH TO MY CALLING!
WHAT IS MY CALLING!
then again i'm scared it'll be something totally out of this world. or something that i'm fearful of.
SIGH.
and i'm not the go-getter i thought i was.
i'm still procrastinating about my post-promo plans
which include: learning how to play the electric guitar/drums/dance and dressmaking and autocad(CHALLENGING!) and volunteering and GETTING A JOB! i think i don't mind waitressing that much since i've never tried :D and meanwhile, trying to fit in my PIANO (YEEEEARRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) and befriending!! WHY DO I ALWAYS LAND MYSELF IN USELESS STUFF. i actually want to pack goodie bags.
but
oh well forget it.
today:
i emo-ed. haha i walked out on my family to go shopping by myself in plaza sing which is freaking boring i'll never go there again except to eat cos hot tomato is quite nice.
and their basement is pretty good.
and today is so eventful because we have just witnessed the demise of our washing machine. which was relatively new. and DIDN'T serve us that well.
so my daddy went out to get a new one.
why do we rely on technology so much? does it liberate or not? so women can spend time working instead of washing clothes?!
i washed clothes for the first time in my life today
i think that brings me closer to being a whole woman.
i'm not saying women should wash clothes to be womanly.
it's this whole matter of taking care of the family and rising to the fore when crises strike.
MWAHAHAHA.
it's...moderately fun. sloshing water is fun. wringing clothes is not.
shit man why can't i be living in taipei romantic princess ep 3 is showing now and i think angela and wu zun are gorgeous!
okay back to washing clothes.
Pastor Vincent Lun said today that discontentment is the root of all our environmental problems.
i see what he means.
like in the Garden of Eden, pre-Satan and the fruit of the Tree of Life saga, Adam and Eve walked around naked! post-Satan and the fruit of the Tree of Life saga, they felt shameful and had to clothe themselves. because they didn't obey. and they wanted more.and i think leaves and twigs were not sartorially pleasant so clothing evolved and now we have silk that feels like wool or WHATEVER.and lots more clothes to wash. if all that didn't happen we wouldn't have ANY clothes to wash.
but i'm not advocating that society becomes like a nudist colony.
which suddenly reminds me of some photographer for some italian brand and his NO ANOREXIA photo campaign. and Italians are promoting full, healthy womanly beauty.
everyone says it's the media's and the models' and the designers' fault.
i think when Milan Fashion Week was going anti-anorexic models one designer said: clothes look better on a thinner body.
and i think slowly i'm being conditioned to think it's true. HELP! i'm so self conscious. and i want to lose weight and i want to wear skinny jeans. i don't think i can carry them off and actually look like i'm wearing skinny jeans instead of i dunno, lotus roots for legs or something.
this is where my covetousness lies! i covet skinny legs! and good bods!
anyway, i think it's the designers fault. every book that teaches fashion design gives you a template with a woman who has a barbie doll figure and exaggerated legs. wherefore are the books that give you NORMAL women shapes for templates? HM.
i've never ever thought about my fat problem.
i did once in primary school. when a guy sat next to me and i suddenly got self conscious cos i was in shorts and i looked at my thighs and inwardly i was like EW elephant thighs.
and then post primary school every one started complaining about being fat and it got to me.
and i don't think it'll ever go away. i can put it off my mind, but it keeps coming back.
LIFE LIFE LIFE.
CANDICE! â¥
9:51 PM
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